Confessions of a Wanna-be Artist

Much of the time, I have all sorts of pictures roving around in my head. Sometimes they're silly or bursting with energy. Perhaps the ideas are sparked by something someone said and beg to be captured on paper. Sometimes they capture an emotion that I may have observed -or feel myself- that I am best able to articulate through an image.

However many pictures I may have running around in my head and however fabulous they may be all up in there, getting them to come out -to come out and meet my satisfaction- is a whole other issue. I took bunches of art classes in high school and even a few in college, but I discovered that my best work is that which I have some sort of connection to; things that illicit some sort of reaction or emotion from me. The best stuff is generally very personal. Sometimes I feel like my art is a gift of the Spirit; it can't be forced or coerced, but has to just flow from me as feels right and natural. This is why I decided not to go into any sort of field of the visual arts as a career; my best work doesn't respond well to deadlines.

All the same, I have this talent in me. I can't just let it slip away.

Since graduating from college and entering the "real world" (that sometimes feels like it's a soul-eating, creativity-stifling sort of world), I often feel like it's a real struggle to find time to do creative and brain enhancing things. So, I read good books and discuss them with friends, and I consciously try to make sure that I do some official artistic project at least a couple times a year.

Last year I did a huge oil painting. This year I've taken on a MUCH bigger project: I am illustrating a song.

Initially I thought it'd be no biggie... the song's already done, what's a few pictures? Heh.. well. There is a very good reason that most of my doodles are single figures without much by way of a background; once the initial purpose is complete (the emotion expressed, or the idea stated) I don't feel much internal pressure to add finishing details that would make the "doodle" an official "picture".

So, this current project is a doozy. It'll end up being a series of pictures with as many as 10 or 12 installments, each an official "picture". Earlier on the blog I posted the first in this series. I liked it! It was exhiliarting to learn a new medium and exciting to see good results. However, the first picture was the clearest in my head and thus the easiest to put down on paper. From there, it's just a general idea of a story I wish to portray, with only fuzzy details. I must admit, this second picture was more difficult in some ways, partially just because it's harder to please oneself when you're not quite sure what you're going for.

However, I really want to do these illustrations, so I pressed on. I actually had to redraw this one a second time because the mask that I used to keep the colors from mixing peeled up some of the paper as I removed it.

One thing I do find fascinating about making these pictures is watching them come to life.
I start with an idea in my head, and first it's just a light sketch.. then the walls have some color and begin to take form, but the people (my favorite part) are still very flat and plain..

Then, just a few steps later, VOILA! It's actually starting to look like something!

Overall, I liked the colors, and I really liked how the mom's jeans turned out....

...but something was missing... the balance wasn't quite right.

I actually stewed over this for a couple days trying to figure out what could be missing and how to fix it. Then, I decided to try adding in a dresser. At this point I was very glad that I'd had to redo the picture; the first one was a perfect test palate!

Much better.