This may come as a surprise, but I have way too many hobbies for the amount of time that I have. Ok, maybe that's not such a big surprise, but it's completely true!
This time problem of mine has been bugging me for a while, like an ever-present buzzing at the back of my mind: What about this project? What about that one? What about this other one??
The other week, I read a quote that basically said:
We all put things off until later, waiting for our perfect later-self to take care of what our current-self doesn't feel like doing. Only, how can we expect our later-selves to be any more perfect than our current-selves if we never do anything to bring about improvement?
That got me thinking. I keep saying that I don't feel like I'm getting work done on my projects, and that at some nebulous future date, I will have more time and THEN I will get stuff done. However, I am realizing that time is like a vacuum and will get filled with whatever slips into it and I will never have more free time unless I make it.
Off all the projects I've got going on, I've been feeling like my music is the most neglected one of all. I don't like that one bit. So, I sat down and thought about possible ways to remedy that.
I concluded that I do have time, I just don't actually manage it very well and that I'm going to have to make a conscious effort to ensure things fit into the time I have. Now, saying that - admitting that to myself, makes me feel like all the child-like spontaneousness in me just died. It's so dry and dull (and responsible) of me to conclude that. And maybe that sounds silly... but it is what it is. And it still remains true that I am not accomplishing what I want to with my projects... so, I have further concluded that the lesser of the two evils (not accomplishing stuff, or being without spontaneity), was the not accomplishing stuff.
Off all the projects I've got going on, I've been feeling like my music is the most neglected one of all. I don't like that one bit. So, I sat down and thought about possible ways to remedy that.
I concluded that I do have time, I just don't actually manage it very well and that I'm going to have to make a conscious effort to ensure things fit into the time I have. Now, saying that - admitting that to myself, makes me feel like all the child-like spontaneousness in me just died. It's so dry and dull (and responsible) of me to conclude that. And maybe that sounds silly... but it is what it is. And it still remains true that I am not accomplishing what I want to with my projects... so, I have further concluded that the lesser of the two evils (not accomplishing stuff, or being without spontaneity), was the not accomplishing stuff.
So, the next step was figuring out what to do about it. I've decided to be more conscious of how I spend my evenings. Not that I'm planning to schedule out all of my waking moments and evening free-time, but I have decided to set aside one evening, every week or so to focus solely on my music and composition.
I've already started this and am feeling like I'm making progress with a couple pieces and, all lack of spontaneity aside, it's awful exciting to see the music developing!
4 comments:
Time management is a bear, to be sure! I've been fighting that battle a couple years now. I got a blessing, quite some time ago, and was told, "Impulsiveness is not the Lord's way." That was hard to hear. I hung it on my closet door to remind me. But since then I've discovered that fun doesn't have to be impulsive, and often the anticipation of a well-planned activity makes it better. Plus, the better I get at planning (& I still have a looong old way to go!) the more often I feel the rosy glow of accomplishment.
Anyway, thanks for letting me ramble, and thanks for posting this & giving me the nudge to reflect a bit.
Heh.. Yeah. I hear ya.
But I'm finding that the "rosy glow of accomplishment" is incredibly satisfying; I feel like I'm actually doing something with myself.
And while this whole process sort of feels like admitting I like broccoli (which I do), finding that satisfaction it totally worth it.
I don't think that managing your time has to automatically mean the end of spontinaity. Its just that when an idea stikes you just still have to weigh it against what you had originally planned to do with that time. Oh, wait. That's starting to sound like the path to disorganization again. Well, maybe that's why I often feel like I don't ever get anything done.
I've decided that spontaneity, like most everything else, is best in moderation. I can still be spontaneous, but I'm happier when I can accomplish things too :)
The difficulty is finding the perfect balance.....
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